Farming Columnist - Denis Lehane

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#Farming Columnist - Denis Lehane

Lighten Up

A COMPREHENSIVE SERIES OF ARTICLES ON THIS TOPIC

<p>While on the farm, Brad Pitt learned all about the driving skills associated with loading and unloading a cock lifter.</p>

farming

Lighten Up: It's a wrap (a silage wrap) for Brad Pitt in West Cork

So for the past year, or thereabouts, Brad Pitt has been with me here on the farm in Kilmichael, learning all the skills of the trade, writes Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Lighten Up: Only Michael Flatley can save us from the rain

Auld Lehane's advice for frugal farmers on Valentine's Day

Dancing shoes of young couple dance retro jazz swing dances on a ballroom club wooden floor, close up view of shoes, female and

farming

The Beckham wedding... Finally, auld Lehane discloses what he saw that night

Auld Lehane's New York adventure continues

Lighten Up: Auld Lehane... On the ground in New York City

Two donkeys

Lighten Up: A girl's best friend — how Sophie Ellis-Bextor fell for an Irish donkey

T'was like a story straight out of Shrek, only with a pop giant instead of an ogre, writes our auld Lehane this week.

Mon, 29 Dec, 2025

mechanical bull

Lighten Up: A Christmas rodeo at the mart

Ever a man to spot an opportunity, our auld Lehane has fixed upon a great scheme to further enhance our cattle marts standing in the world, in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 15 Dec, 2025

Young woman is stealing at store, shop, boutique at shopping mall. Shoplifting concept.

Lighten Up: Guarding Cork's Christmas knickers

Thirty years ago, if you were looking for Auld Lehane, you wouldn't find him out here on this farm in Kilmichael, busily carrying buckets across the yard to feed two hungry calves...

Mon, 08 Dec, 2025

Young pilot candidate receiving flight training meets with the tower

Lighten Up: Tractor pilots wanted

Auld Lehane, the self-declared Lord Byron of Irish farming, has a poem this week to lift the spirit, and indeed the finances, of the struggling farmer.

Tue, 02 Dec, 2025

BBC Satellite Dishes, West London

There's some truth in the cattle mart rumours that Auld Lehane could soon be running the BBC

From chit-chatting to royalty to cleaning out the loo, there's no job our Auld Lehane says he wouldn't tackle, in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 24 Nov, 2025

Lighten Up: Gabriel Byrne — the sexiest man in Irish farming

Lighten Up: Gabriel Byrne — the sexiest man in Irish farming

The 80s were a great time to be an Irish farmer. We were like Tom Cruise on a Massey, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up

Sat, 15 Nov, 2025

Video surveillance camera in the backyard of a country house

Lighten Up: A calving camera could save Oireachtas TV

There is a prevailing fear that Oireachtas news (at bedtime) could go the way of Bosco and Wanderly Wagon, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up

Sat, 08 Nov, 2025

King Charles III Records Podcast With Cate Blanchett And Dr Elinor Breman For Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew's Seed Bank 25th Annive

Lighten Up: Nurturing the seed with Cate Blanchett

If you have some quirky-looking plant sprouting up in the back field that you think Kew Gardens, and indeed Cate Blanchett herself, would be interested in, why not give them a call?

Sat, 01 Nov, 2025

Taylor Swift

Lighten Up: Taylor Swift should sing the praises of 'Cattle Dealer'

Denis lauds the virtues of 'Cattle Dealer' a song by two boyos from north Cork who go by the name of HubCap

Fri, 10 Oct, 2025

Exhibition / new tractors lined up next to each other in a row

Lighten up: Auld Lehane's top 10 budget proposals to help struggling farmers

With Budget 2026 closing in faster than the plastic being stretched over a freshly-made silage pit, Denis Lehane has a shortlist of measures to encourage farmers to stick with the job

Sun, 05 Oct, 2025

Lighten up: Ould Lehane has finally found his element in Positive Ageing Week

Lighten up: Ould Lehane has finally found his element in Positive Ageing Week

The Early Retirement Scheme was just like the car scrappage scheme — but we old lads are totally different now, writes Denis Lehane

Thu, 02 Oct, 2025

1998 Robert Redford stars in "The Horse Whisperer."

Lighten Up: Robert Redford and the bullock whisperer

For a farmer, whispering is part and parcel of rural life, writes our Auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Tue, 23 Sep, 2025

CTAOP's Night Out 2021: Fast And Furious

Denis Lehane: A hairy time at the ploughing

From Dáithí Ó Sé, to Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, you can never tell who will come bounding out of a Portaloo door or squelching around a muddy corner, writes Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 15 Sep, 2025

Counting Money Hands Holding Euro Bills, Examining the Value of Cash and Currency Assets

Lighten Up: The ploughing... like Cannes, only better!

With this year's newfound wealth, the Ploughing is going to be like the Venice Film Festival, only without the boats, and a lot more boots, writes our auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 08 Sep, 2025

AFC Championship Game: Buffalo Bills v Kansas City Chiefs

Lighten Up: Why our Auld Lehane reckons Taylor Swift could get married in Ireland

I never thought we'd be complaining about cattle being too expensive, but here we are, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 30 Aug, 2025

Lighten Up: A royal jeep for the farm

Lighten Up: A royal jeep for the farm

The Queen's jeep is a yoke that has very little hard pulling done, and the perfect buy for any farmer, according to our Auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Thu, 14 Aug, 2025

BET Awards 2025 - Show

Lighten Up: Ageless Mariah Carey - A new 'hero' of Irish farming

The greatest problem in Irish farming today, bar finding a wife, is ageing, so anti-ageing queen Mariah Carey could be the new hero Irish farmers need, writes our auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 11 Aug, 2025

Farm and milk truck arriving

Lighten Up: The milk lorry gives me the heebie-jeebies

The rumble of that truck, the air of panic, the struggle to finish a job I wish I had never started, all became too much to handle, writes our Denis in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 04 Aug, 2025

Áras an Uachtaráin

Lighten Up: Auld Lehane for president

Our Auld Lehane is busy packing his bags for a new life in Áras an Uachtaráin as Ireland's premier, in this week's Lighten Up

Sat, 26 Jul, 2025

RICHARD HARRIS, THE FIELD, 1990

Denis Lehane: Glenroe and The Field taught me more about farming than any classroom

Richard Harris as The Bull McCabe taught me more about farming passion than any advice from a whiteboard ever did

Sat, 19 Jul, 2025

The Irish Post Awards 2024

Lighten Up: Flatley for president? Make Ireland dance again!

There's only one serious candidate to be Ireland's next president, writes Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 14 Jul, 2025

Man giving presentation

Denis Lehane: To the book readers of Macroom Mart

Any place well accustomed to the bawling of a bullock would have no bother dealing with the bellowing of auld Lehane and his tales from the 'Lighten Up' column

Mon, 07 Jul, 2025

Lighten Up: How I saved the day at the wedding of the century

Denis reckons his invitation to Jeff Bezos' wedding got lost in the post... but that didn't stop him from celebrating with the newly weds, in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 30 Jun, 2025

1960s Teen Couples Slow Dan...

Denis Lehane: A 'Liveline' appeal for the return of the slow set

After my emotional plea for the return of the slow set on RTÉ's radio show, callers from all over the country rang in wailing for the return of Bonnie Tyler, Michael Bolton and Foreigner, writes Denis in this week's Lighten UP

Mon, 23 Jun, 2025

Men's Accessories. Elegant men's shoes.

Auld Lehane is looking forward to the wedding of the year in Venice

Jeff Bezos will be getting married shortly, and I doubt if he will go through with it without inviting Auld Lehane, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 16 Jun, 2025

Cowboy hat guitar and boots in barn, country music festival live concert or rodeo background

Lighten up: Rock and rolling in West Cork

Summer in West Cork is unbeatable and you simply 'gotta roll with it', writes our Denis in this week's 'Lighten up'

Sat, 07 Jun, 2025

US Premiere of "Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (Red Carpet)

Denis Lehane: Dreams of Tom Cruise at Cork Summer Show

Our Denis reckons he's just like Tom Cruise, except for the fancy molars, in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 02 Jun, 2025

"The Devil Wears Prada: The Musical" World Premiere - VIP Arrivals

Lighten Up: Liz Hurley falls for the cowboy and that's great news for farmers

It's no wonder Liz Hurley fell for a cowboy; the only surprise is that more movie starlets aren't following suit, writes our Denis in this week's 'Lighten Up'

Sun, 25 May, 2025

Men's legs in jeans shod in classic brown Oxford shoes

Lighten Up: Eurovision and my 'feet of flames' at Bandon Mart

What hope would I have had on the dancefloor with Jean Butler when I couldn't even conduct a few bull weanlings around a ring, writes Denis Lehane

Sun, 18 May, 2025

Vatican Holds Conclave To Elect New Pope

Lighten Up: From Cahirmee to the Conclave, choosing a new Pope is no joke

While I've no doubt the man chosen in the finish will make an excellent pope, he wasn't the fellow I had backed, writes Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up

Mon, 12 May, 2025

Lighten Up: No more Mickey Mouse farming

Lighten Up: No more Mickey Mouse farming

Our Denis thinks throwing a bid on Disney's west Cork retreat, could be a good punt for any local beef farmer.

Sat, 03 May, 2025

US-ENTERTAINMENT-MUSIC-AWARD-MTV-SHOW

Lighten Up: Katy Perry kissed my Massey and she liked it

Our auld Lehane reckons he could teach Katy a thing or two about farming in space, in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 19 Apr, 2025

Lighten Up: Heading to Gigginstown to replace 'Fertile Paddy'

Lighten Up: Heading to Gigginstown to replace 'Fertile Paddy'

The glory days of 'Fertile Paddy' are like the days of Harp, the Ford 3000 and Sally O'Brien, says our Denis, who wants to buy his new stock bull at the Gigginstown sale.

Fri, 11 Apr, 2025

Farmer and Dollar

Lighten Up: The 'mart' of money and auld Lehane's concern

Denis is worried about the price his cattle will make in the mart... but not for the reasons you might think

Mon, 07 Apr, 2025

Astronaut sitting on the moon reading newspaper.

Denis Lehane: On the farm with Suni and Butch

Two astronauts join Denis on the farm, in this week's Lighten Up.

Mon, 31 Mar, 2025

Lighten Up: 'James Bond' producers look to West Cork

Lighten Up: 'James Bond' producers look to West Cork

Once the silage is over and the ploughing event has concluded, I'll be ready for the tuxedo and the dry martini, writes Denis Lehane

Mon, 24 Mar, 2025

st patrick

Lighten Up: A special family connection

Denis reckons he is a 16th cousin once removed of Ireland's patron saint, in this week's Lighten Up.

Mon, 17 Mar, 2025

Jockey on Horse at Race

Riding a winner at Cheltenham

Denis is on a tight regime ahead of Cheltenham in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 08 Mar, 2025

Denis Lehane: Farm love, the impossible rural dream

Moo-d Music: Classy cows go wild for Marty in the Morning

This 'music while you milk' malarkey, was very common back in the days when I first started out in farming, writes Denis in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 01 Mar, 2025

Cow's nose pokes through a gate

Talking bull - the curious tale of the talking bullock

Denis' old Hereford bullock has developed an unusal talent in this week's Lighten Up.

Mon, 24 Feb, 2025

Macro Close-up Smiling Eye with Wrinkles

Auld Lehane and the secrets of eternal youth

Denis says his problems with all this anti-ageing malarkey began many years ago when he worked as a cattle drover at a local mart, in this week's Lighten Up.

Sun, 16 Feb, 2025

Close up shot of man and woman toasting and drinking red wine from glasses on dinner

Valentine's Day: Denny Lehane's ten tips for farmers

For those dreading the big day, your favourite Farming columnist, Denis Lehane, has pieced together a few handy tips to help us get over the line.

Sat, 08 Feb, 2025

Cute Black Labrador 6-month old Puppy Looking at the Camera Wearing a Blue "Cone of Shame" in a Wire Cage, Recovering from Surge

Lighten Up: Balls to bad reception

Poor Rover, he had fun things removed from one end and a funnel attached to the other.

Sat, 01 Feb, 2025

Person pushing a wheelbarrow filled with black asphalt on a gravel path, suggesting construction or landscaping work.

Denis Lehane: New year, new wheelbarrow

Denis's old wheelbarrow had been on its last legs for some time, he writes in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 18 Jan, 2025